Struggling

do we bring home these two girls? while I am not afraid of their special need(that I do not need to disclose here) I am afraid of their ages. I am just worried about a whole host of things and do not feel elated like I did with Sophie and Ben. While these were really two great little girls at the orphanage how will they fit into the family? For whatever reason I still feel pulled to Madeline. I have this vision of wild things taking off in airports from me. although they didnt act at all like that when we were there. Eric is worried that the community at large will be less than understanding about their special need. and I do not care about loveloss here in this town. they can not reject what they have not yet accepted. so life wouldnt be any different that way. I can see them in summer running out and playing in our yard on our play stuff and jumping on the trampo. I think being older 7,8 they will stick to each other and shut out maia. Sophie and Ben have become Maias bestest friends. I just dont know. I dont know what to do. I talked a little with Eric but we dont have a lot of time during the week to talk to each other alone. It isnt adopting again. I am all for that. BUT rather who to adopt. do we bring home the girls? really we say the girls and each person in the family knows exactly who "the girls" are. do we bring home madeline? someone else? no one? I am just feeling a lot of confusion about the whole thing.